I never promised you a rose garden. I never promised perfection or a person safe or comfortable in her skin. But I'm trying.
I don’t LIKE drinking supplements (ex - Boost, Ensure) but I know they’re easier for me to swallow (pun intended) than if I were to eat an extra 250+ calories at each meal.
For example, at lunch and dinner, I drink a high protein Boost along with my meal, each coming to 240 calories a pop. Yes, that is a lot. But you know what? That means I don’t have to eat as much. I eat a
small NORMAL-sized meal, and then I add a supplement.
This way, I’m getting the calories I need to get in
(sometimes…) without hating myself for so much of the food. Yes, I hate myself for the calories I’m getting in, but even though liquid calories nearly kill me mentally, I know I’d rather take them over real food.
See? It’s easier this way. Otherwise, I have to fit in a hunka junka meal at every sitting, and that never worked for me. I end up purging or restricting later to compensate otherwise. Actually, this is why I had to get the tube a few times before; I would refuse to eat all the food they gave me (including the Ensures at first), so they had no other choice but to insert a feeding tube. Well, either give me the tube or watch me wither away.
I would have taken the latter.
The point: I prefer taking supplements over adding more food to my meal-plan. This way, when I switch to a maintaining amount, all I have to do is take off the supplements and BOOM! I’ll be set. *Maintaining awkwardness avoided*