i really don’t understand why non-religious people who are told by religious people “i’ll be praying for you” and get even the slightest bit annoyed. these people are wishing you well and expressing their wishes to look out for you like jesus it’s like getting mad at…
Yep, after that depressing-as-hell rant. *I am still a hypocrite*
Everyone has fat on their body. There is a difference between having fat and being fat.
Also, for that matter, I know when I look at certain places on my body like my arms and thighs, I get discouraged and disgusted by all of the “flab”. Well guess what? Some of that “flab” might just be muscle. Not the bodybuilder muscle, but natural muscle. I’m hoping to take anatomy so I can understand those kinds of things better, but I personally think it’s relieving to know that not all of what I see and feel is pure flab and fat. Maybe it can serve a reality check for some of you others as well?
Or you can just ignore this because I make terrible “positive” posts.
I hope you choose to be happy, Mckenna, because you do deserve to be. You are beautiful, kind, caring, and loved. The world is definitely not always fun, but it's what we have to work with. There is goodness and happiness all around if you can open your eyes and heart enough to accept it. I hope you stay strong and fight hard for recovery! I know you can make it! <3
Thank you. I’m trying to do things that make me happy, and there are little bursts, but I haven’t reached consistency yet. I appreciate this reminder, and you’re right <3
Feel free to come off Anon anytime if you want to talk; you seem like a very sweet, insightful person. People like you on Tumblr (off and on anon) honestly do help me a lot during some rough times. Again, thank you :)
I take the SATs over and over again because the scores aren’t good enough; they simply aren’t good enough.
I keep relapsing because I was never enough, my weight wasn’t low enough, and I wasn’t happy enough.
Perfectionism. Screws with you.
Like that can justify it all! Mckenna, it’s okay to relapse again because you never were that sick anyway. Once you get to ____ lbs, maybe you’ll be good enough, but you’re so much heavier now. F*** recovery.F*** everything that’s important in life.
Aha! Read that last part. Maintaining a dreadfully underweight BMI (if I relapsed, not now) doesn’t make me the reincarnation of Madame Curie or Mother Teresa. It just makes me look awful (others’ perspective) and feel miserable.
“There is a particular genus of teenagers who break out into song spontaneously with their friends, know all the words to Rent and/or Wicked, and will do anything for a taste of being onstage in front of an audience. They’re called theater geeks, and I am a card-carrying member of their ranks.”—
creator of the Tony Award winning musical, In the Heights
I know my primary therapist is hurt by it, but I feel so much more comfortable talking to my neuro psych guy. I trust him; I don’t tell him everything, but I trust him with most things. The best thing about him is that he is completely honest; brutally honest. So honest that he isn’t afraid to hurt my feelings, if it means he’s being completely honest with me. And yes, he HAS hurt my feelings a few times, but I appreciate it because I know he’s not giving me BS.
He’s like a second father to me, even though I’ve only been seeing him since last September. His affect has some sort of calming effect on me, and I like it. He struggles immensely with body image as well - though he doesn’t restrict at all - so I find that we can relate on that level nicely. It’s refreshing to be able to trust someone like that.