Everyone including my family keeps commenting on how chubby my dog is. Is it so pathetic that I am a bit triggered by this, not to mention a little peeved? I love my dog and I think he just looks cuter with the bit of extra chub.
Maybe I’ll post a picture of the little guy…(it’s my blog after all)
“If all the world hated you, and believed you wicked, while your own conscience approved you, and absolved you from guilt, you would not be without friends.”—Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë (via spacesamidlove)
you're a spoiled bitch having 2 therapists. dont you know how expensive therapy is? dont be so greedy. there are actual starving children in africa who would laugh at the concept of having "anorexia".
I didn’t ask for two therapists. One isn’t necessarily a therapist but a bio feedback therapist that talks to me half the time, then “trains my brain” for the other half. Google that shit. Do you think I WANT this? Ever read The Four Agreements? Number Three: Don’t assume.
The Momster (she’s not a monster, the nickname is just addictive once it passes my lips) says I’ve been more “smiley” since my meds were lowered. But have I felt any better? Not really, honestly. My stash of pills is getting bigger every other night now and one day it’ll be enough to make a difference.
Sometimes I’m aware of the facade I put on, sometimes it just happens naturally because I’ve been doing it for so long now.
Either way, though I shouldn’t blame her because she’s not a mind-reader, I feel a little stab of disappointment when I hear she thinks I’m happier.
*Though I might as well note that since I’ve been following odolnost, lovingmelivinglife, and fearless-and-determined, I have been smiling. Not sure I’d really count it as feeling “happy” but it’s nice for that moment, I suppose.
I stocked up on Luna bars today from Whole Foods! Sheesh, do they scare me, but I tried the Iced Oatmeal Raisin one last night and it was freaking amazing.
Here’s to getting over one fear food at a time? Because guess what: I also bought some almond butter! Along with all of these exclamation points, Nut butters are a major fear food along side most everything with a similar amount of fat.
Cheers to those of my followers and friends conquering fears every day - by eating, or not cutting/self-harming, not purging, or even by deciding to get up out of bed in the morning.
*Kayla is odolnost.tumblr.com (she’s lovely and recovering from an eating disorder)